


Soothe My Soul

by flowersforgraves



Series: BTHB [8]
Category: Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Crying, Gen, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, the ship is there if you squint? but it's p canon-compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 07:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16404365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersforgraves/pseuds/flowersforgraves
Summary: Seivarden cries, Breq comforts.





	Soothe My Soul

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from bisexuallegolas on tumblr: cry into chest + Seivarden.
> 
> (card [here](https://flowersforgraves.tumblr.com/post/177921515881/); current list of claimed and filled prompts [here](https://flowersforgraves.tumblr.com/post/179407884316/))

She’s trembling.

No matter if she tenses her muscles, no matter how hard she tries to stop, she keeps shaking. She clenches her jaw in an effort to stop the audible noise of chattering teeth, but to no avail.

"I'm so cold," she mumbles, finally registering that Breq has been trying to ask her a question. "I'm so cold, Breq."

Breq says something else, but Seivarden can't really understand it. She's too occupied by her own inability to stay still, staring at her shaking hands. 

Breq raises her voice, articulates her words more sharply, and still Seivarden can't focus. It sounds like a foreign language, even though she's fully aware she should understand. She wants to say something else, wants to say something to excuse herself, wants to tell Breq she's not ignoring her on purpose, but nothing comes out. Breq says something else, in a different tone,

Then Breq wraps an arm around her shoulders, and Seivarden collapses into Breq's body heat. It takes a long, long moment before she realizes that she's crying as she clings to Breq, tears soaking into Breq's tunic as she holds Seivarden tight.

"Sorry," Seivarden says blankly. "Sorry, I shouldn't --"

"Shh," Breq says brusquely, and starts to rub Seivarden's back in a way she hasn't been held since she was a baby lieutenant, fresh faced and idealistic. 

This, of course, only serves to make Seivarden cry harder. Some part of her (a part that isn't cold or tired or hurting or _wanting, needing_ kef) tells her she needs to pull herself together. But everything else (the parts that _are_ cold and tired and hurting and craving kef) is too weak, too caught up in how fucking good Breq's arms feel holding her, how she hasn't been comforted in -- well. In a very long time.

Breq is singing. Maybe most people wouldn't like Breq's voice, but it's strangely comforting right now, as Seivarden bawls her eyes out for no discernable reason. She makes a distant mental note to talk to someone about finding new songs sooner rather than later -- maybe even something non-Radchaai.

She comes back to herself slowly, and is suddenly cognizant of Breq's fingers running through her hair, the other arm around her ribcage as she finally stops weeping. "Sorry," she says again, trying to wipe her face off. Her voice is raspy and she's sure she's an obvious mess. 

"Yes," Breq says, "well, it's understandable. Do you want to go see Medic?"

"No," Seivarden says quickly. "No, I -- I'm fine." Her hands tighten in Breq's tunic for a moment before she forces her fingers to uncurl. She doesn't want to let go of Breq, doesn't want to come back to the real world where she is cold and tired and hurting and shaking, doesn't want to stop feeling safe. 

They disentangle from each other, and Seivarden reluctantly releases Breq's tunic. Breq, for her part, checks over Seivarden before straightening her garb.

Maybe it's her imagination, but Seivarden could swear that Breq's hand lingers just a bit longer on her back than strictly necessary.


End file.
